Returning

The following first appeared at my old blog site (racheleppmiller.wordpress.com), written August 17, 2018.

It’s been nearly 5 years since I’ve written anything on this blog. I’m not sure I’ll ever be someone who maintains a regular writing discipline (still trying to figure out if I might ever have enough to say!), but the nudge to write does not go away and so, like with so many things in life, I am going to take a first step to start without knowing whether or not it will lead to something.

I went from being a pastor who had her fingers in nearly every aspect of congregational life, a person with a rather strong voice due to my role, given a pulpit and meeting rooms from where to exercise that voice and creativity (and hopefully a good dose of trying to hear other voices), to a person without a formalized role, spending much of the past three years navigating family life. A big and, largely, positive adjustment that I’ve embraced whole-heartedly.

As my 5-year-old son has begun Kindergarten this week, I’ve been faced with the question (literally asked by dozens of friends and family, let alone the questions circling within me) as to how I will now spend my time as the bulk of my daily hours are without the direct responsibility of caring for my child. I do not have an answer—and this is in moments both frustrating and relieving. I wish I could say with confidence that I have a certain ambition that I am pursuing, but the reality looks more like a stillness, taking some deep breaths and opening myself to the things that might come in contact with my path—not necessarily job offers so much (although let me know if you have one!) as the more subtle stirrings within. I have lived the past 3 years with and for my family, with no regrets about that, blown over by the privilege of it. It’s gonna take a bit of time to regroup, to rest, and to listen to the nudges. I feel like one good step is to find my voice through writing again, some of which I will try to share here on this blog. Rooted and Grounded continues to be an apt descriptor for this blog and for the endeavor of life more generally.

So, stay tuned…

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